Bully
If you've been reading news these days, you'd know that one of the recurring issues now is bullying. According to American Psychological Association, "Bullying is a form of aggressive behavior in which someone intentionally and repeatedly causes another person injury or discomfort."
One Justin Bieber Fan died of bullying. "Friday" singer Rebecca Black gets bullied out of school. The list goes on and on...
Now I've taken the subject as far as writing it here because I was once a bully before. And I'm not proud of it. The stupidest bully thing I could remember probably happened in 4th grade.I was one of this group: two boys and me. Together, we were the most mischievous bunch of people in the class. One day, one of those normal days actually where we plan the events for the day (what insanity to write on the school's walls, where to hide classmates' stuffs, what classes to skip and when, those kinds of things), I came in to the room, the teacher nowhere to be found, one thing led to another - don't remember - until one of us suggested, why not do this... The plan: steal the diary of the prettiest girl in the class. So stole it, we did.
I write a diary, right? If I catch you reading my diary, I'm pretty sure I will kill you. Why? Because this world is full of lies, people lie, you lie and the only place where you don't have to lie is there, right there. Your most genuine, truest feelings are all there. You put all the truth in there because you know nobody can read it but you. And then some jerk just decides to get and read it. It's unforgivable. This, I know now. But at the time when we were discovering the truest emotion that lies behind the most beautiful girl in our class, I was having the time of my life. As if my invading her privacy that time isn't enough, I'll tell you today that for a girl that pretty, she had so much corniness in her body. All the stuffs are in there that made the punishment given to us afterwards worth it. How she didn't like the girl she was always hanging out with. Who she was crushing on. Oh. Life's bliss. The crush? He was one of us. The one who actually first thought about the prank. How pathetic the whole thing was. When the girl figured out her diary was stolen, we were already returning it to her - in public! - and we were all laughing like maniacs, telling her how ridiculous all her writings were, how we knew her secret fantasies toward our 'friend', and I was relishing the moment because everyone was watching and then, the girl, who turned bright red, cried. And cried. And cried until one of the teachers finally took notice. I remember how I looked at her and I thought, "Wow. We actually succeeded, we made her cry!". Damn the teachers that time. I didn't even care what my mother would do to me if she found out. Those things were irrelevant compared to what I was witnessing. That was... it was pure pleasure. Again, I know now it was a horrible thing to do, and that that made me a horrible person but at the time, it was one of those discoveries in life where you realized that 'this' thing actually made you happy.
Our mind is very powerful. People start noticing you becoming beautiful, you become conscious and you make a conscious effort towards making yourself more beautiful because your thoughts go towards the possibility that you get complimented. Your day starts badly and it ends just as badly, if not worse, and you think, "I'm the most pathetic person in the whole-wide world". There's one person who makes your heart beat faster than normal, he smiles at you, you panic, you don't know what best way to respond because you don't want to look ridiculous, all things running in your head just because of one thing: his smile.
We can all be influential to people. Imagine yourself being an impact to someone, someone who looks up to you without you being aware. One wrong thing you say and you just ruined his/her life.
I read the news and all I can think about is how those victims - the ones who decide to stay, that is - live their lives, being paranoid, afraid that someone may pop out of nowhere and throw trash at them, or take something from them. Imagine being told ugly or dull or different every single day of your life. It must be horrible living that kind of life. But to me, it's even more horrible living a bully's life. Bullies are terrible people who think causing pain, paranoia, fear, is a happy thing to do. Being something far from human.
I can't take back what I've done before. That 4th grade stunt was probably not the most bully thing I did, I mean, I did horrible things mostly in the past, I'm not proud of them but all of it's part of the past now, and I can only learn from it going forward. At least, I stopped being that person.
One Justin Bieber Fan died of bullying. "Friday" singer Rebecca Black gets bullied out of school. The list goes on and on...
Now I've taken the subject as far as writing it here because I was once a bully before. And I'm not proud of it. The stupidest bully thing I could remember probably happened in 4th grade.I was one of this group: two boys and me. Together, we were the most mischievous bunch of people in the class. One day, one of those normal days actually where we plan the events for the day (what insanity to write on the school's walls, where to hide classmates' stuffs, what classes to skip and when, those kinds of things), I came in to the room, the teacher nowhere to be found, one thing led to another - don't remember - until one of us suggested, why not do this... The plan: steal the diary of the prettiest girl in the class. So stole it, we did.
I write a diary, right? If I catch you reading my diary, I'm pretty sure I will kill you. Why? Because this world is full of lies, people lie, you lie and the only place where you don't have to lie is there, right there. Your most genuine, truest feelings are all there. You put all the truth in there because you know nobody can read it but you. And then some jerk just decides to get and read it. It's unforgivable. This, I know now. But at the time when we were discovering the truest emotion that lies behind the most beautiful girl in our class, I was having the time of my life. As if my invading her privacy that time isn't enough, I'll tell you today that for a girl that pretty, she had so much corniness in her body. All the stuffs are in there that made the punishment given to us afterwards worth it. How she didn't like the girl she was always hanging out with. Who she was crushing on. Oh. Life's bliss. The crush? He was one of us. The one who actually first thought about the prank. How pathetic the whole thing was. When the girl figured out her diary was stolen, we were already returning it to her - in public! - and we were all laughing like maniacs, telling her how ridiculous all her writings were, how we knew her secret fantasies toward our 'friend', and I was relishing the moment because everyone was watching and then, the girl, who turned bright red, cried. And cried. And cried until one of the teachers finally took notice. I remember how I looked at her and I thought, "Wow. We actually succeeded, we made her cry!". Damn the teachers that time. I didn't even care what my mother would do to me if she found out. Those things were irrelevant compared to what I was witnessing. That was... it was pure pleasure. Again, I know now it was a horrible thing to do, and that that made me a horrible person but at the time, it was one of those discoveries in life where you realized that 'this' thing actually made you happy.
Our mind is very powerful. People start noticing you becoming beautiful, you become conscious and you make a conscious effort towards making yourself more beautiful because your thoughts go towards the possibility that you get complimented. Your day starts badly and it ends just as badly, if not worse, and you think, "I'm the most pathetic person in the whole-wide world". There's one person who makes your heart beat faster than normal, he smiles at you, you panic, you don't know what best way to respond because you don't want to look ridiculous, all things running in your head just because of one thing: his smile.
We can all be influential to people. Imagine yourself being an impact to someone, someone who looks up to you without you being aware. One wrong thing you say and you just ruined his/her life.
I read the news and all I can think about is how those victims - the ones who decide to stay, that is - live their lives, being paranoid, afraid that someone may pop out of nowhere and throw trash at them, or take something from them. Imagine being told ugly or dull or different every single day of your life. It must be horrible living that kind of life. But to me, it's even more horrible living a bully's life. Bullies are terrible people who think causing pain, paranoia, fear, is a happy thing to do. Being something far from human.
I can't take back what I've done before. That 4th grade stunt was probably not the most bully thing I did, I mean, I did horrible things mostly in the past, I'm not proud of them but all of it's part of the past now, and I can only learn from it going forward. At least, I stopped being that person.
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